A Rant Of Want

I watched you all night, you know.

I saw you looking at me too when you thought I wasn’t looking. I reveled in the fact that your eyes were on me, if only for a few brief moments at a time.

I danced for you.

My body writhed in time to the trance music and I felt your gaze slide over my frame and caress me. It was heavenly, almost a touch.

I longed for you.

In the arms of another with your gaze still lingering on me, I craved only you pressed up against me. I wanted only your skin against my skin and your hair running through my fingers.

I waited for you.

I waited for you to make a move all night. I nearly cried when you left with only a backwards look. Your eyes connected with mine and you gave me a small, sad smile then you turned  your back and walked away.

In some ways we are so close.

When you are lonely, I am the first one you call. I am the one you know you can trust with your hurts and your problems. I am the one you don’t mind letting see your late-night-silly-stupid side. I love that side.

I don’t mind.

I don’t mind being woken up by you at one AM or six AM. I just want to hear from you. Your voice reminds me of safety and sex and fire. And it makes no sense, but I wake up every day hoping to hear from you or see you . I die a little when I don’t.

Ten feet away.

Your squad sits nearly within touching distance of mine. As I stand surrounded by my sisters, you are encompassed by your brothers like a general commanding his troops. They stare at you enraptured and so do I. You glance and I glance, and our friends know and they see.

I want you, you want me.

This is a fact. You have said it yourself during our late nights in. Our friends have crossed borders to carry the messages about our lust for one another, about our “secret” looks and our cravings that we tell them of. We could cross the social boundaries. It wouldn’t be that bad. We are both  popular, good-looking, smart, and fun so it would be socially acceptable. Your mom already loves me and so does your best friend, so why haven’t we done this yet?

I know I’m ranting now.

But YOU TURNED AWAY. I don’t understand how you could do that. I needed you so much. I may never see you again after this week, and you just left. God, I miss you so much.

Just please come back.


+The stars burn blue+


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